I killed it

I see days passing by and nothing has changed

Then weeks are over and I think I might have done something constructive

But when it comes to months I just remember different temperatures

While years show me how much I changed

I don’t change each year

I chance every day

I don’t realize today the change I’ve made yesterday

But I will understand it a year later

Today is one year since I opened the killingoblivion page on wordpress. The reason why I opened this page was to share with people my daily ideas. It all started when I felt I was not a boy anymore, but I was living the transition from childhood to adulthood. Rough times I might say, since the beginning was nice and exciting, I had many ideas and enough time to write them down. But the deeper I was going in my thoughts, the less time I had at my disposal to focus on it and try to give it a form in words. It is not easy to express what we feel, especially in those moments when what you feel is actually the first step for changing who you are.

This year has thought me to accept and embrace myself in the way I am. Let myself get influenced, but not lose touch of my real self. Changing should be about adapting everything around you to what you are or what you could be, and not become somebody new just because the world is requiring that from you.

I had revelations about socializing, friends, family, people, world, aliens, animals, planets, energies, food, sports, consciousness and so on. The problem with all these was that I had a bit of knowledge about each one of those areas, but this year seemed that everything I was doing was made for the first time. My first new friend, my first going out, my first hangover, my first fight, my first kiss. Just because I was seeing and feeling everything on a different level. It is nice upgrading your persona and therefore become more aware about everything, but sometimes it can be time consuming and also it can consume all your energies. The best way to live is indeed without over analyzing everything every time, but just know that if you did analyze it once, your brain is already capable to keep you away from mistakes.

I also had revelations about myself, I’ve seen all the mistakes I’ve made, clearer than before, so clear that I got frustrated because I was not willing to listen to the people around me when trying to advice me positively. I was stubborn and thought I can manage everything on my own, which is true, we all have this ability to become individualists, but that is just not the way to live happily. We need friends, we need family and we need people around us.

The most valuable lesson I’ve learned though, is that people are better humans when they are allowed to be who they truly are, and if you give them space to be in the way they want without judging them, then we can be a step forward in saving the humanity rather than destroying it.